Dear Ma,

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FLASHBACK

 I could still remember that night: January 11, 2016. That night Ma, you were admitted to the hospital due to hypertension. I was there, I was in shocked. No one really had thought that it would happen. We were ok that night right? there’s no any sign of you getting into that situation. You were still conscious, but i could not understand what you are trying to say. What’s clear to me is that, you are not really okay and that night I can’t stop myself from crying. There’s a lot of things that crossed my mind. WHY. WHY. WHY. IT Couldn’t BE! What would happen to us if you would be gone? I could not really imagine myself losing you. Losing a mother; Losing someone I dearly loved. Akala ko sa teleserye lang nangyayari ang ganung sitwasyon. It could happen to any of us pala.
It’s been 3 days and yet you are still not awake. So, the doctor advised us to send you to ICU. So we did. When you were in the ICU Ma, I really prayed hard that God would hear my prayers. He knows how hard I pray for you to get well, because I trust and believe in him. I even questioned him of why can he not gave you a second chance of life while other people can? Why YOU of all the people? I even trade myself in your position. Sana ako na lang, yon. Sana ako na lang. Just so you know Ma, I took care of you while you were in the hospital. Everyday, I hope that soon you would wake up even though I know you are 50-50. I was hoping there would be a miracle. But there wasn’t. It was time for us to decide to take you home. The Doctor said your brain was damaged already and you will never wake up. We did not risk for any operation anymore, we don’t want you to suffer, Ma. It’s really hard for us. We did not gave up on you. We just don’t want you to suffer. I really have no idea why these things happened; Why God allow good people to die soon? Well, maybe, He knows better than us. It’s the plan of the Lord. Everything happens for a reason.imageREALITY

Ma, On January 21. Wala na. God took you away from us. Di mo na kinaya. Kahit masakit tinanggap na namin. Mahirap naman na mag-suffer ka pa, you are with Lola Nena na. Masakit lang kasi na masyado pang maaga na kinuha ka ni Lord. Madami ka pang gustong gawin, mga pangarap mo para sa sarili mo, para sa akin, para kay Justine at para sa pamilya natin. Ni wala kang pasabi, wala ka man lang final words sa amin, Ma. That night, bago ka inatake nasa kama na ako, tulog na pero naramdaman ko parin ang halik mo sa akin. I love you,Ma. Pang forever and always yan. 😘😘😘

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I missed you already. Every Sunday kame na lang ni Justine ang nagsisimba, di ka na namin kasama. Wala nang gigising sa amin ng maaga, wala nang maluluto para sa amin, Wala nang yayakap at maghu-hug sa akin tulad ng ginagawa mo. Di ko na maririnig ang mga sermon at tawa mo. 😢 Nakakalungkot lang ding isipin na wala ka na talaga pero hindi pa ako nagkaka-boyfriend ever. hehe 😉 di ba sabi mo, gigisahin mo siya kung sino man siya? hehe. * kung may darating* ehem!  Kikilalanin mo pa kung sino ba dapat ang maging boyfriend ko. Paano ba yan? 😰😰😥
Di ko maimagine na last christmas na natin yung last year. Ngayong magbibirthday ako, wala ka na. Wala nang magluluto sa birthday ko ng masarap na spaghetti… hay, Mama Bec. Kung nasaan ka man, I know you are at peace na. Wala ka ng problema. I know you will always guide us. You will be our guardian angel from above.

I love you, Mama bec. 💖💖💖

Thank you for all your Love. Grabe ka, you are really the best! Thank you for all your guidance. I am not who I am today without you. I would also say sorry for all the trouble that I have caused you. *Alam ko madami-dami rin, hehe* wink!

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YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER!! 👍

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Walang araw na hindi kita iniisip.

P.S. To all: Love your mother while you still can. Mahirap mawalan ng isang Ina. Mahirap talaga.

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